Is there a good reference to server options or a "server guide" tutorial/reference available?

None that I know of, but I'd have to agree it'd be a great thing to have...

Are you asking about a Guide to the different servers that are available out there, or a Guide to setting up and running a server of your own?

A guide to setting up a server of your own (including all the in-game server admin commands, etc...).

Right now I'm interested in a listenserver rather than dedicated. Although it should be much the same for either.